Today, I gymmed harder and shorter. There was this emptyness chasing me....and I guess I ran harder. As I sat on my foyer and watched my plants grow into innocent looking vegetation, their tender tendrils longing for the love and support, I see emotions in them. The buds are just about to burst open like a virgin, explosive and yet unconditionally happening.....the sky became darker, the black puffs blanketing the blue serinity, the tekephone tower at the distance, just blending with the evening. Its not a regular evening.....its laden with sombre objectivities and is harbingering little less happiness some where on this world...perhaps, its here. The lining of the hill side became more ghostly, the trees metamorphosing into demons and demoness straight from the greekian methology. Slowly, the children disappeared into hollow spaces, the wheels cruzed heavily and love birds started their courtship....With no intention, the gaze kept on....the heaven escaped from the layers of clumonimbus and displayed her inspiration, like the northen sky happily working on electrical inpunities. I realized that I was still on the run....and she is right, though idealistically. I bet on circular arguments, not losing my score but I saw her bleeding for her man.....I kneeled on and threw my sword....losing this battle....but, she, like a phoenix spread her wings and flanked me like the big bird of Sindbad....with jewles n diamonds....precious stones and emaralds of life experiences that I would give to those unsatisfied souls, complaining on destiny right at my vicinity.....the bird flew back, not even realizing its minute cargo.......the droplets of crying sky fell on my gaze.....I stood in time and time will.......she dissolved in my tears, rolled down my cheeks, fell on earth n thawed into nothingness.....in the complex equation sweet void......

I was U-tubing towards the sunset....with the gush of summer evening....I happened to crash on old songs, imfamous of my darling ages. That time we had just one school structure, simply thached and bamboo splits knitted wall, celled into odd sized compartments, labelled as LKG, UKG, class 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. The flooring was wooden planks with inches of gaps....raised about 2 feets from the ground. I still remember prowling under this space, sometime for heroic reasons of recovering belongings like pencil, erasers or marbles. There would be forest of crumpled papers, neat folios, any sort of garbage that students produce in the class....chalk pieces snd rulers. Sometime would rush into peep shight from one crevice to another crevices ......(heavy pun attached).....the girls would jump onto uncomfortable blush while we would feel little charmed. After this fruition, I should be always prepared for the knocking ordeal at the escape gate....some Mayas would be waiting in total stealth and  reconnaissance......sometime would end up at olympic sprints. The walls dilapeted and with eye level peep holes would always supply functional communication between two classes. We would plan game of balls, or flight to gurasay dara for amala and berries, or ambush some tiffins hidden in artemesia tufts. Short break, would last for about 15 minutes...all the lads would fall in line below the football field and fly their zippers, take out their guns and shoot at air. The fluid bullet would take geometrical trajectory according to the size and load of the amminitions. Any one crossing the terrace beneath would be revered. While girls would look for private open spaces a walk away....in those moments sighting of girlie undies would be a feat of Achilles....if at all, these ladies would buzz off like hornets.......the class would resume as the gong admitted....we would sit on the floor and anticipate someone to show up. Mr.Poul would wizz in in his signature black coat, flipflop and thick spectacles. He was learned, but also crazy. He would occupy his dusty chair, slotch forward and sleep...quite literally he would jump up on his own snoring. Today again, dancing and singing in the class.....we had all time dancers, Mr. Ramay, Phulu, Bhagi, Kamali and great break dancer Mr. Kumar. The chosen singers would start in perfected syncronization.....may be from c scaled ' Maan ko kura lai......' old nepali song by Deny Denzongpa.....whatever, lyrics would become tweaked, neverever complete....the chain of mudered songs would last whole hour....taking turns and rests....finally, the teacher would leave fully entertained while students in their zealous cacophonies. The songs in the air those teases my memories of my early days in schools are....'Moo tah khadeena kuwa ko pani...Tara Devi', Shanti zThatal's, Prem Dhoj, Anber Gurung.........and so on. The days were truly like out of Picasso's brush painting just unconditionally but anything but master piece....these days were like out of Mozard......always in symphony of sweet memories.....those days were like out of Da Vinci....that shaped the future of those who danced in those dilipated mud walled classes.....as I try to bury those days in fresh memories, I see my contemprories, Kiran, Karnay, Bickram, Kumar, Prakash, Naru, Phulu, Yeshi, Tenzin, Tekay, Tej Man, Ganga.......the wolf gang out of the twilight....intellectuals of their time, the time when I went to school wearing my aunty's blouse ... the time when I was creative that I redesigbed my gumboot into topboot and endured my grany's whiplashing........

I am in love all over again....in love head over heels....and the music started to sound lot more sweeter, lot more melodious and lot  more touching, bundled with appeals and attracts....as i started to listen to instrumentals flute, each note it whistled remained me of my maiden, sweetheart....deep and purposeful....the violin strings teased me as the player sawed his bow, even the sadest note enlivened with happiness.....the sarangi sizzled with complexities of sound smithing into transcendental effusions of my heart. The Saxophone bleated with utter energy of synchronized sound that sang the name of my lady.....the madal drummed and hummed the mutshunga, the binayoo, the guitar....and more and many more all sounded in the orchestrated symphony of sound that touched the deepest and highest, heaviest and the lightest emotions tingling at the marina of my foot and dancing at the everest of my heart. In me love swelled with fireworks of sound straight from Chinese festivities and the falling felt like never ending chasm of beneath the earth enigmatically charming. The fingers fiddled and danced, eyes closed in the pleasure of emotional journey, shuttling and slinging beyond the gravity.....far ahead of time, space and light itself.....and through the blended concoction of sound, through the thin ether of space, through the plank's ticking of time, through the blanket of light....she smiles blisfully , she teases with charisma, she gazes with unblinking thoughts, she touches with mesmerizing mastery, she twinkles and glows like the midnight sky......as the night slips away silently, ruthless longing tames this soul domesticating through the noose of deeply painful happiness...........yet i know, that we see the same moon and the same  tomorrow.......and tomorrow you will read me and smile away that cravings, those moments you gave me in total loneliness.........the sound of bangles and earrings, ungoing buttons and the flying jeans..............I see the colours I always asked you.......the rainbows in perfect curvature........goodnight, my eyes are as heavy as goliathian cargo, just blurring and catching billions of floaters........in my Odyssey!!

The Karmic engineer must have sclupted my destiny with infinite numbers of cogs and gears randomly fitting but always ticking forward. This mschine called life would never stop for refuiling nor for reservices....its a self sustaining machine, perpetually on the run milling just as programmed by the old man. It produces moments and jiffies, extended time and few moons....gifting us the melodramatic aura of romantic ambience. From the ocean of Neptune, she held my soul prisioner in her Aphrodiatic dictation. I remained slave dreaming of her geometry of passion, the highs and the lows, raise and the falls.....the curvatures and the plateoues....the cherry farms and the cheese plants.....the sweetest pastures and the savanas and perries.....perfect safaries, I would dream. Her long cascading hairs falling on its own weight, imitating the queen of Sabah...Cleopatra in essence, she seared me with her love. The unquestioned, unconditional affairs of the human intellect....for which men went to wars and killed another man....Einstine and Shakesphere kneeled equally, Hitler and Christ equally borrowed....Shiva and Buddha all sucked in the vortex.....Rawana raped Sita, Ram weeped, Kinlay did at sun while Helan warred Trogens.....love is one cog in this amazing machine, so ruthlessly disposed that it morphosises with time.....it defeats human scarecrows  principles and moral dogmas, love defeats crapy hypocrazy religious values.....no kings no queens...n9o gods n goddess.......when love happens nothing can stop it.....it marriages with happiness and big bangs into another universe......the second universe. When one submits to the blackhole, the other ignites....the ultimate fate of destiny.....for which people went to any length, from six inches to 14  billion light years, seeking the ultimate purpose of life, The Happiness...The Piece of Meat!!!